Domestic Partnerships vs. Marriage

After New York passed a bill to allow same sex marriage, several articles about the problems with marriage started popping up. I think they raise some interesting questions about how we define relationships and how we legitimize couples. Worth a read.

Marriage is a Mixed Blessing
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/24/opinion/24franke.html?_r=1

I Wish I Wasn't Married
http://www.good.is/post/domestic-partnerships-should-be-an-alternative-to-marriage-for-all-couples/#

Romanticizing Abuse

Twilight and Teen Dating Violence:

http://sparrow.beyondtherift.com/blog/?p=255

Twilight is of course not the only example of creepy/manipulative/abusive behavior being touted as romantic; Beauty and the Beast and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers both immediately come to mind.

I find romance a very troubling cultural concept because social norms of chivalry provide an effective mask for manipulation. Chivalry is based on a man protecting his partner, but this can also have the effect of making her emotionally, financially, or otherwise dependent on him. Culturally, women are taught to value these traits in their partner, which could hide warning signs of controlling behavior. With kindness, romance, and manipulation so closely linked, it can be confusing for those in an abusive relationship to understand their experience in the context of abuse.